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Clouded Skies

by Alex Martin

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1.
Three Words 04:29
I was 18 when my father said to me, You’ll make mistakes, but that’s called learning, I was 19 when I pulled my first beer, I thought it was fine, that I had nothing to fear I was 20 when I found my confidence, At the cost of my, self-respect At 21 I had my first kiss, Not with a girl I liked, it was a drunken mess Back at Tim’s house Ernie told me, He’d found second base that night, That was nothing I wanted to hear, But I knew I’d be alright At 22 I felt my hands began to shake, I knew I couldn’t stop the ache, And 23 was when you walked into my life, I’m confused and nervous but it somehow feels right She said the best words I ever heard, “Won’t you stay a little longer”? It was a hard lesson to learn, That time will make the heart grow fonder I’ve been trying my best, Just to give myself some rest, But I’ve nothing else to show, And there’s nowhere else to go And your hand around my heart, Keeps me from falling apart, I never thought you’d fall, Then you said the Three Words that changed it all
2.
I can’t forget the words that she said, As they rattle back and forth right through my head, Now I can’t escape, even though I found a way The time has come and I made it on my own, I won’t relive the past even though I made it home, I found a way to forget my sins Walking down the streets where I’d while away the time, Trying every second to abandon my own mind, Living in a daydream was never meant to show, The time I have left, before I have to go When I was a child I never understood, That the hours in a day will never feel that good, I’m an adult now, I’ve got to earn my pay Life is a beach, that’s what I’m told, But the breeze upon the shore always feels so cold, And yeah it stays with me, grazing my skin Carving out my life will surely hurt the most, But if I’m successful I hope I never boast, It would end me, not worth the time of day Society is just a single bloody maze, And I’m having trouble seeing through this drunken haze, Because it’s wearing me, wearing me down so thin
3.
I don’t know the words to make this alright, I don’t know how to avoid the next fight, I’ve been sleeping less and feeling stressed, I just can’t get this off my chest, I don’t know why I hate the things I like I don’t fear the red sunset, ‘Cause it only means there’s more time left to grow, But I’m terrified of the morning, I know because of what I’ve done, That I can’t outrun what’s to come, But I’ll heed this warning, Red sky at morning Why don’t I answer when she calls? Why don’t I find a way to hold onto the ball? I can’t work it out, but it makes me scream and shout, Why don’t I feel happy unless I am miserable? And I know that it’s eye-opening, And I know it’s the truth that’s deepening, Yeah I hate myself again, why I can’t I let you in? And I know why this is happening
4.
Farce 04:16
Working late it’s a long drive home, Every bar is closed and I am on my own, Not for long I’ll be back tomorrow, Or sometime next week It’s the same old thing I said before, The same old ways I tried for more, I can’t help it, I’ll fail again, You’ll find me lying on this floor My breath is stolen by the cold, Reminding me I’ll someday grow old, Not to worry there’s some years between now and then, Or it’s sometime next week So tell me a tale of the wind, How it gusts and blows as we are struggling, Tell me my heroes haven’t died in vain, That they found a way to end their pain These old ways, Form my chains, Make my path, A never-ending farce
5.
Tell me what I don’t believe, Tell me I’m what you need, Tell me I’m part of this, And you’re a part of me Tell me I’ll be fine, Tell me I’ll grow a stronger spine, Tell me that you’re near, And that our fates are aligned On the first night that I saw you, I could barely feel my face, I hadn’t thought to find you here, In this place It was the same way I felt, On the night that you were gone, That the times we laughed and loved through, Were always moving on Tell me I’m not transitory, Tell me another story, Tell me I was meant to be, More than just your history Tell me now to start again, Tell me how I need a friend, Tell me you’ll be gone, And I’ll be happy in the end So break me on the stairs tonight, While you can’t bear to meet my eye, Tell me how I’m out of mind, A spark searching for Tinder to light
6.
I’ve been building a, Sense of self-worth, Based on more than, Futile ideals and the way my back hurts I’ve been needing some, Reassurances, That this race is, Built on endurance So let me go tonight, Under clouded skies, Who will be the one to hold my head high? You’ve been searching for, Some place to call home, Instead of all these, Empty bars and half-dead hopes You’ve been crying out, In defiance, Looking for a way, To survive without compliance We’ve been passing time, Days and nights rolled into one, A sense of sudden loss, And these days are done We’ve been holding on, To dusty memories, A reminder of the past, And unfinished reveries

about

After Remnant I never thought I'd go back to making my angsty little acoustic songs, but if the COVID lockdown taught me anything last year it's how much I missed just belting my heart out. Thanks to Brayden and Joe for their work bringing my songs to life. Thanks to Aisy for always being encouraging of me and most importantly, if you're listening to one of these songs, thanks to you!

credits

released June 25, 2021

All Acoustic Guitar and Vocals: Alex Martin
Electric Guitar on Farce: Brayden Porter
Lapsteel on Clouded Skies: Alex Martin & Brayden Porter
Recorded and Mixed by Brayden Porter
Mastered by Joe Andersons at Woodriver Studios
Artwork layout: Brayden Porter
Photo: Alex Martin

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Alex Martin Newcastle, Australia

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